Questionable
by thatmasquedgirl
Summary: Compilation of Tumblr ask box fic (prompt fills). Probably will be mostly dialogue-only, but who knows what will show up. Everything will likely belong to different universes. All AU, all the time. Includes things like Oliver almost dying (again), Pokémon, and speed dating. Maybe even a guinea pig named George.
1. Angst Fill

**Angst Fill  
Word Count: 492  
Prompt:** _Anonymous asked, "Angst prompt: Oliver been kidnapped and and the kidnappers has drugged him. When they rescue him hes [sic] chained to a wall and doesn't know what's real what is not."_

 **Original Post Date: July 23, 2016**

 **Notes:** Apparently I felt like doing a dialogue fic for this? I don't know. I never feel like doing dialogue fics. Anyway. I finished this last night and then accidentally deleted it because I'm an idiot, so I rewrote it. I think it turned out better.

I see it as an alternate version of Season 2, but I don't think it really matters. So, basically, it's dealer's choice.

/

"Oliver?"

"…"

"Oliver? Is that you back there? It's too dark—I can't really see anything. I need you to talk to me."

"…"

"Oh, _Oliver_. How do you get yourself into situations like these? I didn't know legs could even bend that way. I'll bet that's broken."

"…"

"You're so pale. And cold. Like a corpse. Oh, God, that's just a _horrible_ thought. Why does my brain do this to me?"

"…"

"…Okay, don't freak out, Felicity. Just check for a pulse. Please be alive, please be alive, _please_ …"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Oh, thank God. Oliver, I need you to open your eyes, okay? Diggle's battling through bad guys—we have to go now."

"I know what you're doing."

"…Trying to save you?"

"You're trying to make me think you're her."

"… _What?_ "

"You might as well kill me. I'm not going to talk."

"Oh, Oliver, what have they done to you? It's me. We came to get you. We need to go now. If you can stand at all"

"No. I won't let you hurt them."

"I'm not going to convince you that this is real, am I?"

"I can't…"

"Is there _anything_ I can say to convince you?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

I know two things, Oliver. Do you remember?"

"…I'm not alone. And…"

"And I believe in you. Always."

"…Felicity?"

"The one and only. Well, not the one and only—it's not a common name, but it's not like it's unique or anything. But I'm the only Felicity _you_ know. Well, I guess. It's not like I catalogued every Felicity you ever met, but—"

" _Felicity_."

"Right, escaping. Now to find your bow…"

"Leave it."

"Okay, maybe _I'm_ the one hallucinating because I just thought I heard you say to leave the bow."

"Felicity, we don't have time for this. You shouldn't be here. It's not safe."

"That's only what I've been trying to tell you since I found you. …Aha! There it is. I'll hold on to that because you still look like death warmed over. Well, death warmed over and hit by a bus for good measure."

"…"

"Or… _you_ could take the bow because you're stubborn and somehow think you can fight in this condition."

"Help me up."

"…Wow, you're heavier than I remembered. Those nights on the salmon ladder have _definitely_ paid off. Do you think you can walk?"

"…"

"How is it even possible for you to give me grr face right now? The bottle of bleach under my sink has more color than you and I'm supporting more than half of your body weight."

"Your hands are shaking. If this is too much…"

"Mmm."

"What was that?"

"…Supporting you isn't why my hands are shaking. I was talking to you and… you weren't answering. I thought…"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"…I'm sorry for scaring you."

"You're all right. That's all that matters."

"Not _all_ that matters, Felicity. We still have to get you out of here."


	2. Game On

**Game On  
Word Count: 453  
Prompt:** _acheaptrickandacheesyoneline asked, "Prompt AU: In relation to discussion yesterday... Give me Oliver playing Pokémon video games he missed out on while he was on the island."_

 **Original Post Date:** August 2, 2016

 **Notes:** It's fluff. Pure fluff. Your teeth will rot out and you'll go into a sugar coma for this. I regret many things in life, but this is not one of them and my lack of apology probably cancels out all the things I've regretted in my life.

I honestly don't know where in the timeline this takes place. For obvious reasons, it has to take place in 2016, but it has a definite Season 2 feel to it. So I consider this as some strange, alternate universe where Arrow actually makes sense past Season 2. :P

Side note: I wholeheartedly have a headcanon that Oliver Queen is a closet Fire Emblem nerd who upgrades all possible units to Archers/Snipers and gets a special kick out of defeating the boss with them.

* * *

"Hey, Oliver, I— What are you doing?"

"Nothing!"

"It's obviously not nothing, or you wouldn't have made a noise like a startled kitten. So what are you doing?"

"I said _nothing_ , Felicity."

"I might be blonde, but I'm not _that_ blonde."

"…"

"Wait. What did you just hide under the blanket on your cot? Because it looked like a 3DS."

"…"

"…It was a 3DS, wasn't it?"

"…Yeah."

"Good for you. I'm glad to see you catching up on pop culture. I didn't figure you for the video game type, but it's a pleasant surprise."

"It's been nice to catch up."

"Catch up? Oliver Queen, video gamer?"

"Raisa didn't work weekends and I didn't like to stay in place for long. Video games made parenting easier."

"So what are you playing?I'm guessing _Fire Emblem_. You seem the strategy war game type."

"I've already caught up on those."

"So what are you playing now?"

"You said you have something for me?"

"Don't change the subject, Oliver. It's just a question. What were you playing?"

"Mmmmph."

"What was that?"

"…Pokémon."

"…"

"Stop laughing, Felicity."

"I'm sorry! It's just… You know you don't have to _hide_ it, Oliver. This is the dawn of _Pokémon Go_."

"I don't know what that means."

"Remember that kid you saved last week because he walked out in front of traffic and was wrapped up in his phone? He was trying to catch a Pokémon on the new app. It's mainstream now. Even my _bubbe_ plays Pokémon. My mother doesn't even know how to send a _text_ and she plays _Pokémon Go_."

"…Oh."

"So I guess the only question is why you were making that face over Pokémon. You looked like you were about to put arrows in the screen."

"…I was trying to find a Skrelp on X. I want a Dragalge."

"They're only on Y. But fortunately for you, I happen to have both X and Y and I can trade you one. Just let me get my 3DS out of my purse…"

"You carry your 3DS with you?"

"Yeah. I do it for the StreetPass tags."

"… _You're_ the one that's been tagging me ten times a day at QC."

"Wait, that was _you?_ "

"What was who now?"

"Oh, hey, Digg. It turns out Oliver and I have been tagging each other on StreetPass for the last six months and never knew it."

"I thought you'd decided that was Roy trying to mess with you."

"Nah. Roy has been playing the latest _Animal Crossing_ for the last two months. That guy–Oliver, it turns out–has been playing Pokémon X and AlphaSapphire."

"You play Pokémon, Oliver?"

"…Yeah."

"I need a Seviper on OmegaRuby. I'll trade you a Zangoose."

* * *

 **Notes:** But don't think about Oliver asking Felicity to install Pokémon Go on his phone. Certainly don't think about him getting her to install it on his Arrow phone and catching Pokémon while out on patrol. And, for the love of God, don't think about him creating a username of "GreenArrow" on it and making everyone wonder (even the cops who play). If you've managed not to think about that, you also need to be sure you don't think about the only gym in the Glades being Verdant and GreenArrow's Pokémon controlling the gym.

Don't you freaking dare think about some eight-year-old kicking his Pokémon's ass and taking over the gym. Or Oliver tapping on this kid's window in the middle of the night just to tell her she did a good job raising her Pokémon and giving her a high-five. And you'll be _devastated_ if you think that, when no one believes her, Oliver finds out and lets her take a selfie with him to prove it.

And you're probably going to be in a lot of hot water if you think that QC is a gym and Felicity controls it with an iron fist and a blatant lack of apology.

*casually sits back and sips tea*

(Yes, I'll probably write the thing later.)


	3. Six Minutes

**Six Minutes  
Word Count: 1,887  
Prompt:** _bri617aroundtheworld asked, "How about: Olicity meet at a speed dating event that neither wants to be at but where [sic] forced to go to by friends/family. Either S5 or alternate first meeting? :-)"_

 **Original Post Date:** August 4, 2016

 **Notes:** Alternate first meeting, obviously.

First, sorry about the delay. I had leviosaphoenix (the patron saint of betas) read it, and we're in vastly different time zones. Which means when I got the response at 3AM, I was already asleep. My bad.

If Pokemon!Olicity was fluff, this is like cotton candy sprinkled with sugar that you eat while lounging on a huge, fluffy pillow. It's also super long. Read at your own risk.

The opportunity arose to do something I've wanted to write for ages. Leviosaphoenix gave me the idea first, but her variant is nine million times better than this. At the moment, all you have is me. In case this isn't your jam, though, this is the _one_ universe you'll ever find it in.

Also, I have literally no clue about speed dating. I live in the middle of Banjo Music, USA and occasionally I'll see something on a TV show and be like, "Oh, yeah, that's a thing." So if I'm off the mark, whoops.

* * *

"Hi, I'm Oliver."

"I know who you are. Your face has been on tabloids for ages—I haven't been living under a rock. No offense, but this isn't your scene, is it?"

"I had no choice in the matter."

"Hey, me, too. Oh, yeah—I'm Felicity."

"Nice to meet you, Felicity."

"Oh, a handshake. That's... different."

"Apparently I'm out of practice."

"No, I like it. It establishes us as equals. It's definitely the nicest greeting I've gotten tonight. One guy tried to hug me. I mean, I'm a hugger, but I like to actually know someone for more than thirty seconds first."

"...Have a seat."

"Wow, pulling the chair out for me? That's a nice touch. They say chivalry is dead."

"Despite common belief, my mother did raise me to have proper etiquette."

"...Thanks."

 _"Everyone has five minutes! ...Begin!"_

"Ladies first?"

"Because you're the first guy to offer all night, you can ask the first question."

"Alright. What do you do for a living?"

"Tech. I'm in IT. Do you like puppies?"

"Uh, sure. Why? Do you have one?"

"Landlord won't let me have anything bigger than a rabbit, sadly. But it's a good indicator of a person's character. I just don't think anyone who likes puppies can be _bad_ —at least not through and through."

"If I had said 'no,' then..."

"I would have stood up and walked away. Even hardened criminals love _puppies_ , Oliver."

"Oh."

"Who signed you up for this? I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"My sister, Thea. She thinks I'm 'moping around the house' and need to get out more."

"Ah, she has you wrapped around her little finger. Got it. Mine's better: my mother. She's _that_ pushy."

" _Wow_."

"Yeah. She's a modern woman—which I love about her. Except she thinks sex is the answer to all my problems. Which it isn't. This is her subtle reminder that she wants grandchildren soon. Preferably in the next nine months."

"That's..."

"Yeah. That's just my mom. But if we start talking about her, we'll be here all night. Your question."

"...Um, hobbies?"

"Computers. I mean, I build them at night while watching Netflix. ...That's a little pathetic, isn't it? I play a little _Warcraft_ from time to time, and— Oh, God, I'm making it worse. Let's just say I'm a _Doctor Who_ fan and leave it there."

"I have no idea what that is."

"I'm sorry about your very bland life. What's your favorite kind of ice cream?"

"Um... anything with chocolate?"

"A vague answer. But it's chocolate nonetheless, so I approve."

"...Thanks. Since you're asking questions that aren't exactly first-date material, how do you feel about archery?"

"As long as you're not the guy putting arrows in criminals and delivering them to the cops, I don't care. Everyone needs a hobby."

"..."

"I'm kidding. I happen to think that guy is doing a lot of good in the city. He saved my roommate from getting mugged last week. Favorite book?"

"...Would you believe me if I said _Hamlet_?"

"Of course. But _Hamlet_ is technically a _play_ , not a book."

" _The Odyssey_."

"You're on shaky ground, Oliver, but I'll allow it."

"You?"

"Favorite book is a tier, not a single literary work. We don't have that kind of time. What are your opinions on guinea pigs?"

"I'm not sure I have any. Why?"

"I have a guinea pig named George. He whistles at me after I get dressed in the morning, but that might be because she knows I'm going bring food with me. Usually I don't appreciate unsolicited opinions about what I wear, but he's very supportive about my wardrobe choices. She even whistles at my yoga pants."

"You just called it both 'he' and 'she' interchangeably."

"Pfft. George does not adhere to a binary gender system, Oliver."

"...She sounds like he'd be an interesting guinea pig, then. What—?"

"Why are your lips twitching? Are you laughing at me?"

"My turn to ask a question, remember? If you did have a dog, what would you name it?"

"Mildred. Mildred the Komondor. She would strike fear into the hearts of mops everywhere."

"...Are you making fun of me?"

"Ah ah ah, Oliver. My turn, remember? Why were you laughing at me?"

"Because you're charming and different. Your first question was if I liked puppies and you have a genderfluid guinea pig named George who approves your wardrobe choices."

"..Well, I suppose it does sound a little strange when you say it like that."

"Now, were you making fun of me?"

"Maybe a little. I'd get a Newfoundland and name it Grima, after the Fell Dragon. Maybe a Great Pyrenees, too—and name it after the Divine Dragon, Naga."

"...What?"

"I'll introduce you to video games later. When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

"A pirate. You?"

"I can almost picture you as the scourge of the seven seas. I wanted to be a ninja."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"It's your turn, Felicity."

"Oh, right. Um... How do you feel about gay roommates?"

"Are you asking about the gay part or the roommate part?"

"Hmm... that's fair. I'll allow it. Individually and as a whole."

"That's a vague answer."

"I don't offer any other kind, Oliver."

"...I don't understand what there is to have an opinion about. People should be able to love whomever they want. I've never had a roommate before, so I don't really know about that. ...Unless you mean that in a different way."

"No, no! I mean, I'm not _opposed_ to polyamorous relationships, but I'd make that clear from the beginning. My roommate, Curtis, is gay. Some guys I've dated before have had problems with it. Not that we're dating or anything. I don't mean to presume anything, but—"

"Felicity, this is a _speed date_. Dating is kind of in the name."

"Yeah, but neither of us want to be here and we're just trying to commiserate, so it doesn't count."

"Either way, we're exchanging phone numbers after this. You're the only good conversation I've had all night."

"Agreed. Anyway, it's a question I start asking on the first date because this one guy got _insanely_ jealous because I'm living with a guy—despite the fact that he, by definition, has no interest in me."

"Sounds like he had problems."

"Story of my life. But enough about past mistakes. Your question."

"This might sound like a line, but it's a serious question."

"Shoot."

"How are you still single?"

"You're right; it _does_ sound like a line."

"Felicity."

"Ugh, fine. I get to ask you a hard question after this, though."

"How is that a hard question?"

"...I'm asexual."

"...I don't really know what that is."

"No one ever does. I'm not sexually attracted to anyone. ...Which is kind of challenging because I want a romantic relationship. I just don't want the sex part. And the guys I tend to date typically are interested in the sex part."

"That's a really personal fact to share with someone you met a few moments ago. Thank you."

"When you measure how well we know each other in minutes, it's minuscule, but when you measure it by connection, it's infinite."

"That's very... _deep_ of you, Felicity."

"Don't laugh at me, Oliver. I'm a complex person. I'm allowed to be deep."

"It's just... people don't usually talk like that, Felicity."

"I can't help it if people aren't interesting. Now for the hard question: What is your biggest aspiration?"

"...Well, I... I guess I want to make a difference, to stop this city from being preyed upon by people like me. I... I guess I want to do something meaningful, to make even the Glades a better place to live. I mean, I'm already here. The least I can do is something worthwhile, whether the history books remember or not."

"..."

"I know, it's stupid."

"No, not at all! It's just... wow."

"...You're, um..."

"My eyes are leaking. Just a little. That was beautiful, by the way. Very inspiring. I would have said something like 'to move out of IT' or 'to own a tech company one day,' and now I'm just a little... overwhelmed. Oliver Queen, gentle idealist."

"...I've never shared that with anyone before."

"You should. It's passionate. It might help everyone remember you're not the same guy you were five years ago. I didn't even know you then, and I can see that."

"Thanks. That means a lot, Felicity."

"You mean coming from a random stranger?"

"You're not a random stranger. If you measure how well we know each other by minutes, it's minuscule, but when when you measure it by connection, it's infinite."

"People don't talk like that, Oliver."

"I can't help it if people aren't interesting, Felicity."

"Oh, wow. You should smile like that more often. It's a nice smile. I kind of want to take a picture of you smiling and hang it on my wall to appreciate for all eternity."

"People don't talk like that, either."

"It's complicated for me to explain attraction. ...Legend has it that allosexuals—people who experience sexual attraction—sometimes equate aesthetic attraction and sexual desire."

"As an allosexual myself, I can confirm that."

"..."

"What?"

"Your eyes. They, um, they just turned really dark. ...Anyway. Your question."

"What would you say if I told you that—?"

"Excuse me, Mr. Queen? Ms. Smoak?"

"Yes?"

"Your five minutes ended about a minute ago."

"Oh, it's my fault, Ms. Cutter. I sort of distracted him with a hardball question."

"It's just time to move on to the next table, Ms. Smoak."

"Better idea: Oliver, do you want to ditch this petty attempt at dating—no offense, Ms. Cutter, but it's not my speed—and go get some anything-with-chocolate ice cream?"

"..."

"...What?"

"I've never been asked on a date before."

"Screw gender norms, Oliver. Do you want ice cream with me or do you want to do another five-minute date with a stranger?"

"Ask me a hard question."

"I'm sure I will at some point. But I think that requires ice cream first."

"Thank you for hosting such a lovely event, Ms. Cutter, but I think Felicity and I will be leaving now."

"But—"

"Wow, she wasn't happy we left."

"I think she's been using me to convince women to sign up. There's an ice cream parlor right around the corner, if you..."

"Yes. Absolutely. I want very much. Both to talk to you and to eat ice cream. But we're going dutch. I don't want your money. Donate it to the ASPCA so they don't have to do those sad commercials with Sarah McLachlan songs."

"That sounds like a deal. ...Now, Felicity... I have a hard question."

"Okay... Are you sure you want to ask before ice cream?"

"Yeah."

"Fire away."

"Hypothetically, what would you say if I told you I was the Arrow?"

"..."

"..."

"...Just to clarify, is this a serious question?"

"Very."

"I'd probably hug you so tight you couldn't breathe for doing such a good job in the city and then ask if you needed any technical support."

"...I'm the Arrow."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You weren't kidding about that hug, were you?"

"Not your turn, Oliver. My next question: do you need any technical support?"

"From you? Any day."


End file.
